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location:agate beach

A bartender in Szabo's told me a story about two of his customers. It's a story that captures the very foamy essence of why this Agate Beach establishment deserves membership into the Let It Pour realm. I listened while pounding a Dead Guy Ale. Every night a young couple eats dinner at Szabo's. Their food order varies but their drink order does not--a Patron tequila in a snifter. It begs two questions: does she have a sister and will she set me up? A Patron every night? Outlandish! There's a recession on and a war ready to explode molten aluminum through concrete bunkers (a new US weapon) incinerating anything living inside. All the more reason to drink--to forget or fuel oneself to hit the streets in protest. Positioned on the east side of 101, Szabo's resembles a log cabin on the frontier. There's even a hitching post. A sturdy and rustic interior welcomes Pioneers: booths, rough wood walls and beams thick enough to absorb a spread from a sawed-off shotgun. It just calls out: cowboy fringe and bolo tie - to parched travelers to get off the dusty trail and belly up to shoot a corn whiskey, a firewater that corrupted every corrupt treaty ever signed between the US government and Native American tribe west of the Mississippi River. At least now the casinos are settling the score. Thankfully Szabo's has more to offer than assuaging guilt and corn swill. Simply put, in addition to the 14 beers on tap, this place has the finest quality of high-end spirits I've seen on the Oregon Coast--and I'm talking corporate resort bars too! Szabo's also boasts an elaborate gimmick drink menu, which of course should be avoided, even if you are trying to get laid. No person should ever consume something called a "Purple Hooker," or "Oatmeal Cookie," or "Buttery Nipple." The one and only criteria for ordering a cocktail in a Let it Pour joint, or in any joint on Earth for that matter, is this: would Keith Richards drink it. He would definitely try Szabo's popular prime rib special and chase it down with the homemade key lime pie. He might also bang out "Dear Doctor" on the piano available for anyone to play. He could head outside to the patio and drink there or sit on a stool and check out the best vintage lighted beer promo I have ever seen--a stunning 18-year old Jaclyn Smith of "Charlie's Angels" and TV movie fame holding a stein and pushing Budweiser. Yeah, Keith had a thing for super models. I prefer the understated type in faded Levi's who drinks Patron in a great place like Szabo'sÖand who can find some simple liquid satisfaction in a world gone mad.
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